Here.

A few weeks ago, I visited a Buddhist temple for the first time. As I mentioned in a previous entry, I am not religious, but I am open to different philosophies and ways of thinking adopted by different cultures and religions- so why not do some meditation at this temple, especially since it is so close to home? For those of you that live in Orlando, FL, the name of the temple is Vajrapani Kadampa Buddhist Center and it is located at 813 Montana Street, Orlando.

It is a very quaint little house and they always have a homemade soup to drink afterwards! The energy there is beautiful, and it is a great way to step aside from the world, and be in touch with you.

Part of the teaching that day was about living in the “now”. This seems like such a cliché, and I am sure many have heard it before. However, I spoke to Kelsang (the monk meditating that night) afterwards, and he gave me an approach to this saying that triggered my curiousity. He explained that everything we have lived in the past is the reason we are here now. So, why worry about the past? It exists right now, not yesterday or last week, because all of its elements and happenings made “now” possible. And what about the future? It has not happened yet, and it is all dependent on what we do now. Right now, this moment, defines your next 5 minutes, your next week, your next month and years. Your past and your future, they both exist right now. Right now is the only moment that matters because you are living in every tense. Right now is where you are living- are you at the right place?

This is one of the roots of Buddhism, and the reason it caught my attention is because of how simple it seems, but how hard it is to actually accomplish.

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Signs.

This one is an interesting one. Allow me to start off by emphasizing that I do not have any religious inclination, but I respect people that do. Also, it is a pet peeve of mine when people say they are “spiritual” because 99% of the time they are not, but they want to seem interesting. Good luck being spiritual, and I hope you know you need to (at least try) be in touch with yourself in order to start that path.

Anywho…(defined by UrbanDictionary as “An extremely annoying misuse of the word ‘anyhow’. Generally used by people who think they’re being clever. Anywho, how was your day?”- Which makes it ironic, because I just touched on the subject of pretentiousness and this word seemed oddly appropriate to use. Hm… was that a pretentious statement? Eh.) this quote- as I was saying… is powerful.

Whatever God you believe in, whatever light or whatever energy.. we are bound to reach out to when we are at a point that we simply do not know what to do. It happens. We are human. I was raised Catholic, and at times of desperation, I used to see myself praying “Our Father” and I am not even religious. It is as if it were wired within me to reach out to something intangible, bigger than myself, to help me grasp some sort of understanding when the options life presents me seem so… blurry.

Now, when moments like these happen, I pause. I pause my thoughts and everything that I am doing and I focus hard to be with Laura. To be with myself. To feel my heart, my mind, my soul. And I become self-aware. And this is how I am open to the Universe and I let it guide me. I ask it, I implore it, to please show me any type of sign. And holy crap, I have been feeling like a dart board with all of the darts it has been throwing me, almost screaming at me to wake the ffff up.

What is the point of being blessed enough to receive these signs if we are going to ignore them? What. is. the. point. It may seem hard, but a decision has to be made… and who better to trust than your own instinct, your own Universe?

Years ago I tattooed the word “trust” under my breast, on my right rib. I am not one to get tattoos for the hell of it- if something touches me enough that I apply to my daily life, I want it to mark me.

So why the word “trust”? Well- you must trust that whatever path you take is the one you were supposed to take. Always. Even if it took you to feel pain, even if you feel you took a few steps back. Every step you take, you were supposed to take. Trust, that if you are in tune with your heart, that if you are in tune with your soul, any decision you make that makes your heart feel lighter will be the right one. And if you are at a point of ultimate confusion, do only things that give you peace, be perceptive to signs, and follow them.

Struggle

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I liked this quote especially because it reminds me of a Kabbalah teaching I always try to remember:

Light desguises itself in obstacles. When you overcome these obstacles, you grow and therefore receive light. When you avoid these obstacles, they will present themselves again and again, only in bigger and bigger problems until you decide it is finally time to address them. So take these struggles, these obstacles, these problems as blessings and use them as tools to become a person you are proud of.

Growth

Just breathe. And understand there is never personal growth without a hardship and a lesson truly learned.

Maybe this is a little twisted and contradicting, but part of me feels a sort of release when I am going through a hard obstacle. I do not believe anything is random, and I do not believe you are ever handed anything that is too much for you to handle. When it rains it pours, yes- but instead of burying yourself in these things that have taken place, listen. Listen to what life is trying to tell you. Use your struggle as a tool, and truly (truly, from your heart) learn from it.

This is called growth. I feel so lucky that certain situations have crossed my path at such a young age. I will be so much more prepared in many aspects of my life thanks to these lessons.

Real Eyes

I am not sure how I feel about the saying “Real Eyes Realize Real Lies”- at least not the way I interpret it.

To me, Real Eyes are honest. Humble. Transparent.

Real Eyes may have pain, or they may not- but they never have deceit. Or malicious intent.

Real Eyes do not have an agenda because they don’t need one. Because they don’t want one.

An agenda is nothing but an archive with alphabetized lies, or, depending on the person, they could also be chronologically organized.

The thing with Real Eyes is that they are naïve. Their naïvete is their purity, and it is the reason their mind does not visit dark corners- where hurt lies and where lies lie.

To Real Eyes, there is no option, no other road to take, than one of truth- because they realize, what is the point in a lie, anyway?

Their fault (or blessing) is that they only see the beauty in others, and they do not see the logic behind these dark corners- so they are blinded to them.

Real Eyes are too beautiful to realize Real Lies.

Interestingly, there is also a parallel to this.

Real Lies only know rough edges. They expect deceit, they expect hurt. Real Eyes seem too good to be true to Real Lies.

So they fear them.

This is when you realize ignorance is a double-edged sword.