Courage

Courage I.

When your heart is hardened, that is a sign of weakness,

not strength.

It takes courage and a hell of a lot of strength to love just as intensely, if not more, after experiencing pain. So, be brave. Be brave and know it is okay to take time to heal. Just make sure the wall you built as your defense mechanism does not feel like home, but more like a temporary guest while you

get

back

on

your

feet.

Courage II.

You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn’t. If you do decide to give meaning to situations or day-to-day things, you get to decide what meaning to give these said things.

“A wall.”

What comes to mind when you think of a wall? Give that some thought.

Naturally, a wall is usually seen a tool of protection through blockage or avoidance. But what if you change its meaning to something more proactive, with a bigger purpose?

Allow this temporary wall that you have built after pain to be a way to channel that energy into self love, into understanding how you work, into self-awareness and into growth.

Re-define “pain” and “hardship” and do not let all that suffering be in vain, but learn from it and use it as a tool to grow, instead.

Courage III.

Do not avoid. Face every single feeling, no matter how much you have tried to forget. Write it down, sing it, paint it, whatever. Do something with it so it exits that small corner in your heart

and your mind

and your ego.

Be proud of how far you have come. It is only then that you can truly get to know yourself; when you give yourself the chance to forgive yourself for all the pain you allowed within you and maybe even inflicted onto others.

Courage IV.

Compassion takes courage.

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Compassion

Never has a word ever granted me such peace. Allow me to rephrase that- never has the meaning, timing and significance of a word impacted me so directly and intensely.

The teaching at 7:30PM onThursday, May 21st was the Universe aligning with me, leading my way through a sea of hurt, confusion, conflict, contradiction.

How would you define compassion? Pause and think about what this word means to you.

Compassion.

Compassion is a father wishing with all of his strength to have his daughter’s late stage Cancer so she does no longer have to suffer. Compassion is wishing to take his daughter’s suffering away, even if it means he would have to feel it himself.

Compassion is understanding suffering, really understanding it- from the bottom of your being. From your core, from your soul.

Compassion is not a rich man giving a poor man a Ferrari. The rich man wants to help, but has not taken the time to understand the  extent of the poor man’s suffering to see that what they need is not a luxury car, but food, shelter, maybe even love instead. The rich man is thinking about what he would want if he were sad, and applying it as everyone’s desire.

Compassion takes willingness to grasp the depths of others’ suffering.

That idleThursday, the first meditation consisted on recognizing a sort of cloud of smoke in our chest- which symbolizes hurt, anxiety, confusion, any bad feelings or states of mind. Recognizing it, identifying it and visualizing it. After I am done explaining the meditation, I encourage you to do it as well. Close your eyes and focus on the world around you disappearing, and you are surrounded by a white, infinite space full of light.

Breathe in deep. Exhale with strength.

Each breath in is clear, white light, and each breath out takes along with it a little bit of that dark smoke. Breathe in light to replace that pain, that hurt, that smoke. Focus on breathing and focus on cleansing.

Imagine that light throughout your entire body, and that smoke leaving your heart with each breath.

Now envision someone that has hurt you deeply. That person might hurt others, that person might hurt themselves, that person might not know another way to live. But that person, just like all of us, has all the seeds necessary for compassion, for love, for forgiveness, for peace. We all have the tools necessary, but only some of us plant them and grow them, some of us do not understand them.

I think this adds so much beauty to life- these tools, these seeds… they are there for us, and throughout our journey we discover these different seeds within us that might have seem so foreign the week before. And we nurture them. And we water them, and they plant growth within us. They grow and become intricate, intimate designs of what we have created to be who we are. They feel like different colors, like different shades and shapes, and they slowly construct us.

But enough about seeds.

Focus on this person, and think of their cloud… envision the suffering and hurt that has brought them to this point. We all have our pasts- but in this moment, think of that person’s pain.

Now think of the position of your heart in your breathing body. Imagine it being this beautiful crystal full of all the light you just received. Now envision a shell around it, almost like hard, dry charcoal. This symbolizes your ego, your self cherishing.

This person is still in front of you. Feel their past, imagine the agony. And breathe their pain in, their smoke. Be the father with the terminally ill daughter.

The moment you breathe in this smoke, it will touch the charcoal shell. The moment they touch, a part of that shell is broken off. They eventually cancel each other out. Absolute Zero. Your selflessness in truly wanting that person free of that suffering is the only way to truly heal, as a world. What if we all did that for each other?

Imagine that person filled with joy, and the weight that they have been carrying all along has been finally lifted- because you liberated them through compassion.

How beautiful is that? How does that not draw a smile on your face..

I entered the temple confused, angry, hurt, deceived, and craving some sort of healing. What I thought would take months- the stages that I would have to go through to help me understand- took the right words, love and intention at the exact time I would absorb every color of their meaning in the matter on one hour and a half.

I hope this will do the same for you- and do not confuse a Ferrari with compassion (that would have made no sense at the beginning of this entry!).

Growth

Just breathe. And understand there is never personal growth without a hardship and a lesson truly learned.

Maybe this is a little twisted and contradicting, but part of me feels a sort of release when I am going through a hard obstacle. I do not believe anything is random, and I do not believe you are ever handed anything that is too much for you to handle. When it rains it pours, yes- but instead of burying yourself in these things that have taken place, listen. Listen to what life is trying to tell you. Use your struggle as a tool, and truly (truly, from your heart) learn from it.

This is called growth. I feel so lucky that certain situations have crossed my path at such a young age. I will be so much more prepared in many aspects of my life thanks to these lessons.

Real Eyes

I am not sure how I feel about the saying “Real Eyes Realize Real Lies”- at least not the way I interpret it.

To me, Real Eyes are honest. Humble. Transparent.

Real Eyes may have pain, or they may not- but they never have deceit. Or malicious intent.

Real Eyes do not have an agenda because they don’t need one. Because they don’t want one.

An agenda is nothing but an archive with alphabetized lies, or, depending on the person, they could also be chronologically organized.

The thing with Real Eyes is that they are naïve. Their naïvete is their purity, and it is the reason their mind does not visit dark corners- where hurt lies and where lies lie.

To Real Eyes, there is no option, no other road to take, than one of truth- because they realize, what is the point in a lie, anyway?

Their fault (or blessing) is that they only see the beauty in others, and they do not see the logic behind these dark corners- so they are blinded to them.

Real Eyes are too beautiful to realize Real Lies.

Interestingly, there is also a parallel to this.

Real Lies only know rough edges. They expect deceit, they expect hurt. Real Eyes seem too good to be true to Real Lies.

So they fear them.

This is when you realize ignorance is a double-edged sword.